Well....I am not even sure where to start. First of all I can't believe that it is Feb 8th and I haven't posted since the beginning of the year.......oopps!!!
Well I am still not preg so resolution #1 still not completed but I do have an appointment to see the RE next week on the 16th. I am very excited to get back on medicated cycles and to finally get preg....I just have to keep the faith that this is going to happen soon. Not only that I went over to my preg friends house for the superbowl and found out that another friend is preg also. WOW!! She has 3 kids and wasn't even trying and she informed us all that she is actually about 12weeks preg and due 1 month after my other friend......thanks thanks I love feeling like I am being left behind. How fun for you 2 to be preg together and then have babies together while I wait on the sidelines .....oh and neither of you were trying or expecting this to happen but my DH and I have been trying for 2 and a half F'ING years!!!!! OK sorry end rant!!!
Well resolution #2 has actually been going good. Tomorrow will be 30days since I officially started eating healthier and exercising and I have lost 10lbs. I have been doing the south beach diet and it has been going good. I also started the 30day shred and that has been kicking my ass. However, this last week we have been eating out and then superbowl and now AF has showed up so I haven't been doing as good. I have still been trying to stick to my plan but exercising has gone by the way side. And of course since AF is here I am feeling like total crap so I am definately not exercising but as soon as AF is gone I am back at the exercise but I have been eating good.
I also had a 31day cycle and O'd on my own last month and I really think that had to do with the diet and exercise....So I definately want to keep that up. At this point I have O'd 6 months in a row and still no bfp. I know that the RE will want to have my DH get a S/A and he knows that is coming. Honestly I am a little worried about it......I really pray that there is nothing wrong there but I am scared but it is something that we just need to know for sure. My DH has 3 kids but the youngest is 18 and so much could have changed since then or anything could have happened. So I have already warned him that I am scheduling his S/A at my RE appt probably for the very next week.
I think that is all for now but I am going to update once I go to see the RE and we find out what direction we are going to go in.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Years Resolution!!
Ok So it's a New Year.....Welcome 2011!! And what is the first thing most of us do for the New Year beside get drunk and loud?? Of course....make our New Years Resolution! What is a resolution?? Well its an impossible goal that we usually set for ourselves and end up breaking within the first couple months of the year, if not sooner. This is the exact reason I don't usually set a New Years Resolution. But this year I was thinking about it and decided having goals is a good thing.....shouldn't we all have goals or something to work towards in our lives??
So my New Years Resolutions for 2011 are:
1. To get pregnant.....this is my #1 goal this year
2. To be healthier
3. To get a permanent job...preferably a Teaching Job
4. Pay off some debt.....work towards buying a house (the house goal is a 2012-2013goal)
5. Take better care of myself
6. Just to be a better mom and wife
I think part of having goals is also having a plan to reach those goals. So I have also come up with a plan to reach my goals.
* The first one is the most important one for me this year. We have been trying for going on 2.5yrs now and neither of us is getting any younger. Not only do I feel like I am racing against my time clock (I am going to be 35 this year) but I feel like I am racing against my husbands time clock. I guess that is what I get for falling in love with an older man. He has been wonderful about the whole thing but even he has agreed that since we haven't gotten pregnant yet that it is time to get more aggressive. So I plan on going back to the RE hopefully by Feb. I hope to be able to continue on femara for a couple more months....I really feel that if I just continue to Ovulate that I will get preg soon but IF I am still not preg that way than I will probably want to move onto either adding a trigger shot or doing a combo cycle....femara w/injects.
* The second one is also very important but this is an everyday struggle for me and I have decided that I just want to try to make changes in my life and add in more exercise with the goal of being healthy hoping for the side effect of losing weight. I did join a couple weight loss challenges to help keep me motivated and accountable. I also have a terrible sweet tooth so I bought a bunch of fruit so my first baby step is to replace my sweet cravings with fruit. So everytime I crave something sweet instead of eating candy or what have you I am going to grab some fruit....maybe an orange or pear or some grapes.
* The third goal is getting a job. I have been substitute teaching for 1.5 yrs now hoping to have some kind of in at a school. I have had a chance to try out many different grades and schools and I know where I want to work. However, I don't have control over the economy and the lack of jobs yes even teaching jobs are being hurt by this terrible economy so IF I can't get a teaching job for the new school year I will have to get a regular non teaching job so that I can have a steady and reliable income. Plus this is part of the paying off debt goal and buying a house....if I don't have a job and more income than I am not going to be able to accomplish these goals either. I can't support my family and reach my financial goals continuing to sub.
* My fourth goal is a financial goal. I want to be able to buy a house sometime in the next year or two (2012 - 2013) So I have gathered my bills and have figured out what I need to pay and have come up with a plan to pay them off completely. However this is also contingent on my getting more work and then getting a job.
* The fifth goal is to just take better care of myself. To start thinking about my well being and take some time for myself. This is always hard for us mothers to do but I think that it is important. I want to set a good example for my daughter and I can't do that if I don't take care of myself.
* The sixth and last goal is just to be a better mother and wife. I am not saying that I am not a good mother or wife I just want to improve and strengthen my relationships with my family. I think that this for me is just trying to spend more time with my family. Taking extra time to take my daughter outside and just playing with her. Giving my husband more attention and helping him more around the house and the many things that he normally takes care of.
So there you have it,....My News Years Resolutions and my plans for trying to stick with them this year. Will I be able to follow through and stick with my goals this year??? Who knows, but I will try hard to keep them and will reflect next year on this.
So my New Years Resolutions for 2011 are:
1. To get pregnant.....this is my #1 goal this year
2. To be healthier
3. To get a permanent job...preferably a Teaching Job
4. Pay off some debt.....work towards buying a house (the house goal is a 2012-2013goal)
5. Take better care of myself
6. Just to be a better mom and wife
I think part of having goals is also having a plan to reach those goals. So I have also come up with a plan to reach my goals.
* The first one is the most important one for me this year. We have been trying for going on 2.5yrs now and neither of us is getting any younger. Not only do I feel like I am racing against my time clock (I am going to be 35 this year) but I feel like I am racing against my husbands time clock. I guess that is what I get for falling in love with an older man. He has been wonderful about the whole thing but even he has agreed that since we haven't gotten pregnant yet that it is time to get more aggressive. So I plan on going back to the RE hopefully by Feb. I hope to be able to continue on femara for a couple more months....I really feel that if I just continue to Ovulate that I will get preg soon but IF I am still not preg that way than I will probably want to move onto either adding a trigger shot or doing a combo cycle....femara w/injects.
* The second one is also very important but this is an everyday struggle for me and I have decided that I just want to try to make changes in my life and add in more exercise with the goal of being healthy hoping for the side effect of losing weight. I did join a couple weight loss challenges to help keep me motivated and accountable. I also have a terrible sweet tooth so I bought a bunch of fruit so my first baby step is to replace my sweet cravings with fruit. So everytime I crave something sweet instead of eating candy or what have you I am going to grab some fruit....maybe an orange or pear or some grapes.
* The third goal is getting a job. I have been substitute teaching for 1.5 yrs now hoping to have some kind of in at a school. I have had a chance to try out many different grades and schools and I know where I want to work. However, I don't have control over the economy and the lack of jobs yes even teaching jobs are being hurt by this terrible economy so IF I can't get a teaching job for the new school year I will have to get a regular non teaching job so that I can have a steady and reliable income. Plus this is part of the paying off debt goal and buying a house....if I don't have a job and more income than I am not going to be able to accomplish these goals either. I can't support my family and reach my financial goals continuing to sub.
* My fourth goal is a financial goal. I want to be able to buy a house sometime in the next year or two (2012 - 2013) So I have gathered my bills and have figured out what I need to pay and have come up with a plan to pay them off completely. However this is also contingent on my getting more work and then getting a job.
* The fifth goal is to just take better care of myself. To start thinking about my well being and take some time for myself. This is always hard for us mothers to do but I think that it is important. I want to set a good example for my daughter and I can't do that if I don't take care of myself.
* The sixth and last goal is just to be a better mother and wife. I am not saying that I am not a good mother or wife I just want to improve and strengthen my relationships with my family. I think that this for me is just trying to spend more time with my family. Taking extra time to take my daughter outside and just playing with her. Giving my husband more attention and helping him more around the house and the many things that he normally takes care of.
So there you have it,....My News Years Resolutions and my plans for trying to stick with them this year. Will I be able to follow through and stick with my goals this year??? Who knows, but I will try hard to keep them and will reflect next year on this.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Lucky Cycle #5
Well, Here we are again cycle #5. All I can say is that at least I have ovulated every month for the last 4 cycles and hopefully this cycle too. Last cycle I had a "perfect" cycle. I O'd cd14, I had excellent cm, I thought that we timed BD'ing really well, My LP which is normally 12days ended up being 14days......BUT still NO bfp. I hate that you think everything is going so perfect and it ends so not perfect. But I also found out that I had a vit D defiecieny as I wrote about last time and from my understanding that can affect your lining so even with out perfect cycle and our seemingly perfect timing, that could have been the reason for our bfn. UGH.... So on to our 5th cycle. Now when I say 5th cycle I mean the 5th cycle since our break....cuz really we have been ttc for going on 2.5yrs now ....at least as of Jan 2011 will be our 2.5yr mark. Now cycle #5 I am doing femara again. The only thing is that I am taking a lower dose this time. I had a prescription for 7.5mgs of femara from earlier this year that I filled. I decided to go with 5 mgs the first round to see how I responded and I responded beautifully. I thought that my ob/gyn would be able to give me another RX for femara but there was a new PA that I had to see and she said that they no longer deal with the femara at all cuz it's off label use....WHAT! So I have to go back to my RE to get more femara......but I can't afford the RE yet.....SO this cycle I only had 2.5mgs left of the femara so that is all I can use this month. I am still hoping that I will still respond to it. I did up my royal jelly this cycle to 2000mgs in hopes that will help my body respond just as well to the lower dose of femara.
SO I am praying that my combo of femara, royal jelly, metformin, and Vit D is going to be my magic combo. FX'd
I also found out on the day before AF showed that my BFF is preg. She wasn't trying to get preg and has said on more than one occassion that she didn't want her own children. She also knew that we had been trying for over 2yrs. Needless to say I felt disappointed about it. She said that she is happy and I want to be happy for her and supportive of her cuz I know that she is scared but I feel sad for myself. I think that is the key is that the disappointment isn't that she is pregnant it is that I am NOT......I am disappointed that she announced her unplanned pregnancy and I am NOT announcing my very planned for pregnancy. I feel disappointed that it is her that is pregnant and not me. I feel bad that I feel this way but I can't help it I have been trying for over 2 yrs and she didn't try at all.
Lucky Cycle #5.....here we go!!!! FX'd and saying my prayers. :-)
SO I am praying that my combo of femara, royal jelly, metformin, and Vit D is going to be my magic combo. FX'd
I also found out on the day before AF showed that my BFF is preg. She wasn't trying to get preg and has said on more than one occassion that she didn't want her own children. She also knew that we had been trying for over 2yrs. Needless to say I felt disappointed about it. She said that she is happy and I want to be happy for her and supportive of her cuz I know that she is scared but I feel sad for myself. I think that is the key is that the disappointment isn't that she is pregnant it is that I am NOT......I am disappointed that she announced her unplanned pregnancy and I am NOT announcing my very planned for pregnancy. I feel disappointed that it is her that is pregnant and not me. I feel bad that I feel this way but I can't help it I have been trying for over 2 yrs and she didn't try at all.
Lucky Cycle #5.....here we go!!!! FX'd and saying my prayers. :-)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Vitamin D and Fertility
Well last week on Monday I went in and had my annual exam. It was a very weird experience for me and I have decided not to continue going to this doctor and to try to find a new one. Well anyways, they took blood to check routines things such as cholesterol...ect.
I got a call this last Monday (so a week later) and was told that I have a Vitamin D deficiency.....not just low but deficient and they wanted me to take a prescription strength Vit. D supplement. Ok so no big deal. I go to the pharmacy to get my prescription and it is for 50,000 units of vit D per week and according to the pharmacist they only prescibe this high of a dosage when your levels are critically low.....so now I have moved from just being deficient to critically low. UGH.
Well I know I have heard in the past about Vit D deficiencies but I have never really paid much attention to it as I just assumed my levels must be fine.....I mean after all I have spent thousands of dollars getting testing done at the RE's office which included vials upon vials of blood being drawn. The 1st time they took blood they drew 7 vials of blood. I mean you would think that they would have tested my vitamin levels afterall they wasted some of my blood and money to test my blood type which I already knew because I have a daughter and they have to know what blood type you are when you get preg and I also happen to be O- so I have to get special shots when I am preg becuause of this. I told the RE what my blood type was but apparently my word was not good enough and she had to make sure of it anyways.... sorry about the slight off topic rant......back to the subject of Vit D
So in light of this new information....I had decided to find out more information about. Well come to find out that having a Vit D deficiency can CAUSE fertility probs. It upsets the balance of your hormones and can cause irregular cycles as well as problems with ovulation. Along, with these issues it can cause lining issues so that your lining does not form properly to allow for implantation of a fertilized egg if you had even managed to ovulate at all.
I found a couple interesting articles about Vit D and Fertility and it seems that this could be my missing ingredient. The symptoms fit me perfectly. I have missing or delayed ovulation and irregular cycles.
Vit D deficiencies can cause problems with ovulation in that it can be the reason for a lack of ovulation. The first article specifically mentions PCOS and that taking Vit D can improve the symptoms of PCOS including acne, excess hair and increased weight. The second article also mentions PCOS and also talks about other affects on fertility.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/3434420/Vitamin-D-can-aid-fertility.html
http://www.gettingpregnantnow.org/Articles/The_Fertility_Nutrient__Vitamin_D.html
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art62381.asp
I have huge hopes that this is going to help me achieve the one thing that I want the most........Getting Pregnant. I hope that I am not disappointed again.
I got a call this last Monday (so a week later) and was told that I have a Vitamin D deficiency.....not just low but deficient and they wanted me to take a prescription strength Vit. D supplement. Ok so no big deal. I go to the pharmacy to get my prescription and it is for 50,000 units of vit D per week and according to the pharmacist they only prescibe this high of a dosage when your levels are critically low.....so now I have moved from just being deficient to critically low. UGH.
Well I know I have heard in the past about Vit D deficiencies but I have never really paid much attention to it as I just assumed my levels must be fine.....I mean after all I have spent thousands of dollars getting testing done at the RE's office which included vials upon vials of blood being drawn. The 1st time they took blood they drew 7 vials of blood. I mean you would think that they would have tested my vitamin levels afterall they wasted some of my blood and money to test my blood type which I already knew because I have a daughter and they have to know what blood type you are when you get preg and I also happen to be O- so I have to get special shots when I am preg becuause of this. I told the RE what my blood type was but apparently my word was not good enough and she had to make sure of it anyways.... sorry about the slight off topic rant......back to the subject of Vit D
So in light of this new information....I had decided to find out more information about. Well come to find out that having a Vit D deficiency can CAUSE fertility probs. It upsets the balance of your hormones and can cause irregular cycles as well as problems with ovulation. Along, with these issues it can cause lining issues so that your lining does not form properly to allow for implantation of a fertilized egg if you had even managed to ovulate at all.
I found a couple interesting articles about Vit D and Fertility and it seems that this could be my missing ingredient. The symptoms fit me perfectly. I have missing or delayed ovulation and irregular cycles.
Vit D deficiencies can cause problems with ovulation in that it can be the reason for a lack of ovulation. The first article specifically mentions PCOS and that taking Vit D can improve the symptoms of PCOS including acne, excess hair and increased weight. The second article also mentions PCOS and also talks about other affects on fertility.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/3434420/Vitamin-D-can-aid-fertility.html
http://www.gettingpregnantnow.org/Articles/The_Fertility_Nutrient__Vitamin_D.html
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art62381.asp
I have huge hopes that this is going to help me achieve the one thing that I want the most........Getting Pregnant. I hope that I am not disappointed again.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Cycle #4
I am on the 4th cycle since coming off my bcp break and this cycle I took 5mgs of femara cd3-7. This has been the best cycle ever!!!!! My ovaries haven't ached the whole cycle....I believe that I actually felt O on CD 14......YES cd 14 I ovulated. I got +OPK's cd13 and cd14 and FF gave me solid crosshairs on cd14 the day I believe I felt O. I believe that it was O cuz like I said my ovaries haven't ached at all they have felt pretty inactive in comparison to other cycles and I was driving to the airport and all of a sudden I got this really big kind of sharp pain in my ovary area...it didn't last long only a couple mins and then it was gone and I haven't felt that again. My DD was out of town over the weekend at her dad's house so DH and I had the place all to ourselves.....so needless to say we got plenty of BD'ing done. So I have O'd earlier than I ever have, my ovaries seem to be pretty silent except for O, and our timing was perfect. On top of that, my DH who pinched several nerves in his back in June, which has prevented him from completing his job when it's been time to perform due to pain.....had hardly any pain this weekend and there was even a couple days that we DTD more than once and he had no probs finishing!!!!!!! Now all I need is a BFP and this will be a perfect cycle......oh god I hope I don't jinx myself.......but I am so excited about this cycle and the hope that it brings and I have really high hopes right now. I pray that I am not disappointed. I just know this is going to be the month!!! (hopefully) ..... ;-) I plan on testing next tuesday Nov 30....which will be 10dpo and I just realized as I typed that date.....which was my Dad's B-day.....maybe this is a good sign.....sigh...tears..... KMFX
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Finally
Well this ttc journey is a hard one. Is it any harder than the weightloss journey...not really..but it is more emotional. I am on my 3rd cycle after my 5 month bcp break and this is historically the cycle that is longer and is where my cycles began to get all wacky again. Well this 3rd cycle is no different than anyother 3rd cycle that I have had. The 1st 2 cycles I O'd around cd20 well this cycle O is somewhere between cd29 and 31, so substantially later. Now I have had a couple coincendental things happen this cycle so it makes me wonder. First, I tried to take soy in hopes that it would up my O date but instead it was alot later. Now was this the fault of the soy or is this the curse of the 3rd month. haha. Also, since I hadn't O'd by cd28 I had given up on this cycle and started prometrium to try to bring on AF so I could move onto a new cycle. Well I then got a +OPK on cd29....again is this a coincedience or did taking the prometrium help bring on that elusive O??? I will never know. So here I am now CD32 and have O'd sometime between cd29 to 31 and am officially in the 2ww. I am praying that with all the weirdness of this cycle that this will be my cycle and I will finally after more than 2 years get that elusive bfp. So here's to the 2ww and what it may bring.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Why me??
This is a question that I have asked so many times and I know many others have asked this question as well. But in truth --- Why should it not be me?? Why am I so much better than anybody else who is effected by infertility or anything of a serious nature. I think that many people think that things like infertility, serious illnesses, accidents, ect don't really happen to them or to people close to them, but in reality it can happen to anybody. I am an average American girl, who desires a family, who wants a good job, good friends, and surrounded by love. We all have our own struggles, but it is how we handle them that set us apart. I sit here this week feeling sorry for myself about not having a permanant job, about not being able to get pregnant so easily, about struggling with my weight and wonder when or IF things will get better. ( NO I don't suffer from depression but I think we all go through our moments of feeling down)
As I have been sitting here feeling sorry for myself I was flipping through the channels of late night television and stopped on Joel Osteen. He is talking about speaking faith into your life and using your words to uplift you. He is talking about how when you speak words of defeat you are going to live a life of defeat. Now this message isn't too much different than his other messages and I am big fan of Joel and listen to him quite frequently but for some reason that evening his words were ringing loud and clear in my ears.
Now I haven't talked about faith before but truth be known my faith is GREAT. I am a fairly new believer as I was baptized about 3.5years ago and have been building a relationship with GOD since then. Now I have always been a believer but I never knew the Lord or had a relationship with him nor did I know what that meant. Where my faith is Great my Obidence hasn't always been as strong as it should be. I have found myself in the last week reading more of my Bible and finding scripture to help me through these difficult times. I know that God will bring me through this time just as he has brought me through so many other very difficult times. My husband has constantly told me to be patient that things will happen in GOD's time and not mine. This is hard for me to wrap my mind around......as a person we want to control things and it is hard to hand over the reigns to someone including GOD but as a child of God that is what I must do, hand GOD the reigns and believe that he will fulfill the desires of my heart and lead me in his direction.
Now Joel was talking about things that are close to my heart such as weightloss and infertility and was giving examples of people who turned their attitude around and put their faith in GOD and started speaking faith into their lives and positive affirmations about themselves. I decided right then that I am no longer going to speak negitivly about myself as I have so often done in the past. This is a hard habit to break but I am determined to do it. I also remember and give thanks everyday for the many wonderful blessings that I do have in my life. I have a wonderful husband who loves ME so much and would do just about anything for me. I have a beautiful daughter that loves ME so much. I love where we live and the live that we have together. I think that part of my feeling sorry for myself is that I do not love myself the way that I should. When I look in the mirror I don't see the wonderful things that my husband and daughter see......I see this fat person who can't find a job or have a baby looking back at me. This woman who is sad because she is not happy with the way she looks or the fact that she is struggling to conceive and struggling to find a job. I think his is why Joel's message hit me so hard. He reminded me that I was made in the image of the Lord and the Lord loves me just as I am as he is the one who created me.
One of the things that I have started to do is to read scripture to remind me of the Lord's love for me and to remind myself that I should be happy with who I am. One of the passages that I found was: "You are fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14
I know that this is a much deeper subject than my other posts but it is something that I needed to put out there in the open if only for myself. I think that when it is out there like this than it is harder to continue to lie to yourself. I am usually a positive person but it has just seemed that so many things go wrong at one time and it is hard to stay positive. But I believe that you must go through hard times to enjoy the good times and to be able to apprieciate GOD for the wonder that he is and for the blessings he gives you.
My once again new outlook is to give it over to GOD and trust that he knows what he is doing.... :)
"Give your worries to the Lord, and he will take care of you." Psalm 55:22
As I have been sitting here feeling sorry for myself I was flipping through the channels of late night television and stopped on Joel Osteen. He is talking about speaking faith into your life and using your words to uplift you. He is talking about how when you speak words of defeat you are going to live a life of defeat. Now this message isn't too much different than his other messages and I am big fan of Joel and listen to him quite frequently but for some reason that evening his words were ringing loud and clear in my ears.
Now I haven't talked about faith before but truth be known my faith is GREAT. I am a fairly new believer as I was baptized about 3.5years ago and have been building a relationship with GOD since then. Now I have always been a believer but I never knew the Lord or had a relationship with him nor did I know what that meant. Where my faith is Great my Obidence hasn't always been as strong as it should be. I have found myself in the last week reading more of my Bible and finding scripture to help me through these difficult times. I know that God will bring me through this time just as he has brought me through so many other very difficult times. My husband has constantly told me to be patient that things will happen in GOD's time and not mine. This is hard for me to wrap my mind around......as a person we want to control things and it is hard to hand over the reigns to someone including GOD but as a child of God that is what I must do, hand GOD the reigns and believe that he will fulfill the desires of my heart and lead me in his direction.
Now Joel was talking about things that are close to my heart such as weightloss and infertility and was giving examples of people who turned their attitude around and put their faith in GOD and started speaking faith into their lives and positive affirmations about themselves. I decided right then that I am no longer going to speak negitivly about myself as I have so often done in the past. This is a hard habit to break but I am determined to do it. I also remember and give thanks everyday for the many wonderful blessings that I do have in my life. I have a wonderful husband who loves ME so much and would do just about anything for me. I have a beautiful daughter that loves ME so much. I love where we live and the live that we have together. I think that part of my feeling sorry for myself is that I do not love myself the way that I should. When I look in the mirror I don't see the wonderful things that my husband and daughter see......I see this fat person who can't find a job or have a baby looking back at me. This woman who is sad because she is not happy with the way she looks or the fact that she is struggling to conceive and struggling to find a job. I think his is why Joel's message hit me so hard. He reminded me that I was made in the image of the Lord and the Lord loves me just as I am as he is the one who created me.
One of the things that I have started to do is to read scripture to remind me of the Lord's love for me and to remind myself that I should be happy with who I am. One of the passages that I found was: "You are fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14
I know that this is a much deeper subject than my other posts but it is something that I needed to put out there in the open if only for myself. I think that when it is out there like this than it is harder to continue to lie to yourself. I am usually a positive person but it has just seemed that so many things go wrong at one time and it is hard to stay positive. But I believe that you must go through hard times to enjoy the good times and to be able to apprieciate GOD for the wonder that he is and for the blessings he gives you.
My once again new outlook is to give it over to GOD and trust that he knows what he is doing.... :)
"Give your worries to the Lord, and he will take care of you." Psalm 55:22
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