Keeping the hope alive!!!

Well my first femara cycle didn't work and I felt like it was a failed cycle.  I went in on cd12 for an u/s and had a 17mm follie and since I usually get a +opk on my own and seem to O on my own they decided that I wouldn't trigger and just wait to see if I would O by the following wednesday (this was friday).  Well I didn't get a +opk until the next wed which was cd17 and O'ing maybe cd18.  I didn't think that it would take this long to O. Oh and even though we were able to dtd the day before O we really didn't get in a good BD session the day of and day after O so I am pretty sure that might have something to do with us still not being preg.  ANd of course AF showed.  So I had my follow up appt with my RE on 14dpo which ended up being the day AF showed up.  Which worked out great cuz then I didn't have to make a second trip to the RE's office since it's about 45mins from home.  They didn't do a baseline u/s and I didn't have to have more bloodwork done except I still have to have my thyroid checked since that was left off of my last lab slip by accident.  I guess that's ok but I am not sure how normal that is but I am ONLY taking femara.  

BY the WAY, I LOVE MY RE!!!  

I think that she is wonderful.  I went into the appt feeling defeated and like this was a failed cycle.  BUT my RE was really positive and really turned my attitude around.  I sometimes have a hard time keeping the hope alive since it's been so long since we have started trying.  But she renewed my sense of hope.   She really felt that this was a good cycle.  I responded really well to the femara even if the O was a little late.  My lining was really good and I did surge on my own.  I asked about the trigger and she said that they use it for different reasons such as no surge or just better timing but she felt that there was something good about letting the body decide when the egg was really ready and O'ing on it's own.  She also felt that it wouldn't up my chances for pregnancy.  I still feel like Iwould like to give it a try.  She also said that my hormone levels were pretty normal overall.   Except my good cholesterol was a little on the low side but my bad cholesterol and my trigylcerids (sp?) were both good and she said that this ratio was typical of pcos and just to keep working on losing weight.    She also said that my FSH was really good for my age....UGH cuz I am almost 35 and this number apparently starts to rise with age.  My AMH was also a really good number which is really good since this is my egg reserve.  My DH's S/A was also good.  He does have slightly low morph 3% and they want it 4% or higher but she said that their lab is really really strict, more strict than most so she felt that this was really no big deal and since his overall count and motility was good she feels that there is no reason we can't get preg with TI.  THis is a good thing since our insurance doesn't cover anything related to an IUI cycle so that would have had to be out of pocket.  What a relief!!    SO I feel so hopeful now!!!  SHe feels like it just a matter of time now.  It's nice to feel hopeful and excited about trying again.  It's great to feel like I have someone on my side in my corner who is fighting for me and letting me make the decisions about my journey.    

So here we are again, another month, another chance.  I am again taking 5mgs femara cd3-7 with an u/s scheduled cd14 this time.  I think that I will ask about the trigger again this cycle. 

By the way I can't believe Easter is this weekend and MAY is already almost here!!!!   WOW!!!  Where is the time going?? 

Time flies when......

Time flies when your having fun is the typical response but I have to say that I have just been busy!!   Well there was some fun in there.   We have had 3 family fun days.  Family fun day for us is when we go out and do something super fun and don't worry about chores, what we eat, or just the basic rules of everyday life.  This has come to life for us cuz my wonderful little girl goes to her dad's house once a month and since he doesn't see her very much they try to pack in as much fun filled, junk food eating, no cleaning room time as possible and my DD told me one time when she came home that her step mom is the "fun" parent cuz she never yells at her.  I try not to take it personal but DAMN that one kind of stung......but you know they don't have to deal with a 7year old every day who doesn't like to clean her room and tries her hardest to get out of homework.  So my mom suggested that we implant at least one day a month to dedicate to having fun and throwing the rules out the door.  It's been a really good decision and I feel that it is actually more special for her cuz it's a treat instead of what is expected.  So any ways my point was that we have had some fun this last month.      Other than that I have started a long term sub position working in the special ed department of my DD school. As you may or may not know I am a teacher who is out of work and have been looking for the last 2yrs ......so this is a huge break through for me.  Not only that I actually have work every day and don't have to wonder if I need to get up and actually have a job.  This position is going to last until the end of the school year....YAY!!!

So another thing is that I had an appt with my RE and have started treatment.  I did 5mgs femara cd3-7 and had my u/s cd12 and had two follies one that was 17.5mm and another that was 14.5mm.  She thought that I would O over the weekend but it actually took almost a week to O!!  I didn't end up doing the trigger shot that my RE rx'd since I normally O on my own and I am very disappointed about that.  I also think that I should have gone ahead with the trigger since it took so much longer to O than expected.  So if I get a bfn this cycle I am going to be talking to my RE about upping my femara to 7.5mgs and adding the trigger regardless of the fact that I seem to O on my own.  I really really really really really want this cycle to work but as usual I just don't know if it will.....I think that over 2.5yrs of bfns has ruined me for that optimism that I once felt.  I am 5dpo and will probably start testing around 9dpo cuz I desperately want to be one of those women who get an early bfp!!  haha....unlikely I know but I like to torture myself.    So that is my update for know.  Will try not to wait so long to update and hopefully next time I will have some exciting news.